The last thing I said aloud was “help!” I don’t remember too much about what happened the night before, but what I can recall is that there were three doctors dragging me by my hands and feet towards a padded white room. I don’t know if they had the plans of keeping me here for a while, but it’s like my memory keeping coming and going. I’m trying to recall everything that I was doing before this hospital came into my life but I can’t remember much of anything.
It’s like everything before today is a blur. I can barely recall my name and address. I keep saying it to myself over and over again, “Hollie Holmes, 34, White Terra Lawn #5063” but even repeating it doesn’t feel exactly right. How can I have been brought here against my will? Who did? And, the more I ask myself all of these questions the crazier I feel. I begin to feel as if I’m living in a circle.
Is there any way that I can get out?
Just when that thought crosses me the doors to the padded cell opens, “Miss. Holmes. You have a visitor.”
He was holding a clipboard with a face mask on and all white scrubs. I started thinking about who it could be and all of a sudden it occurred to me that I didn’t remember anyone from my life before. I didn’t remember if I was single or in a relationship, I couldn’t recall what my apartment looked like or my house, I didn’t know whether or not I lived alone or with other people if I drove… It’s like my life is a blur. “So, you going to get up or just look at me?”
I stood up slowly, I could feel all of the medicine that was inside of me. It was as if I was pumped with morphine. I don’t think I was supposed to be moving for weeks on end. I was wobbling very badly. I tried to make my way towards the door but my body fell forward as if my strength gave out. What was happening?
The doctor, from his eyes, was smirking. It was as if this was some game. What’s being played? How did I end up here? No matter what, I knew that I had to go find out who this visitor was or what they wanted.
I got up from the floor, again, only to feel the trembling worse. The doctor was tapping impatiently on the clipboard. I couldn’t believe what was happening, but, I didn’t have time to think. I took the surprise of what it is.
He leads me down a long corridor. My hands were tied in front of me by cords. I felt crazy, but I couldn’t remember what I did to get here. He was chuckling as he walked behind me. “Did I tell you to stop walking, girl? Your visitor doesn’t have all day.”
Categories: The Journal